Marcus' Story: Dads in Focus

Marcus commenced with Family Life in late 2021 when he was referred to the Dads in Focus (DIF) program as directed by the Family Court. At this time Marcus advised that he had not been able to see his almost 5 year old son for two years following a family violence incident that saw him removed from the family home and served with an intervention order.  

Marcus had struggled with drug use for a number of years and when his wife would challenge him on this he would lie and become aggressive using physical, emotional and psychological abuse. The program supported Marcus to acknowledge that his behaviour was abusive and that his wife felt fearful and uncertain as a result.  

Marcus embraced DIF from the outset, identifying that the intervention was positive for him because it was an ‘impartial ear’. Marcus identified a number of goals from the outset which included gaining insight into how his behaviour has impacted his ex-wife and son, to rebuild a connection with his son and to navigate co-parenting whilst taking his Intervention and Family Court orders into consideration.  

Upon commencing DIF, the Family Court allowed Marcus to begin fully supervised access visits with his son once per week for a period of 2 hours and a Facetime call once per week. Marcus experienced a lot of anxiety around reconnecting with his son after missing the last two years of his life. DIF sessions were used to explore not only his anxieties but also to look at practical things he could do to slowly build a relationship with his young son without overwhelming them both. He used the sessions to share his concerns and anxieties and to work on practical strategies to manage these and in turn the bond between Marcus and his son soon developed into a flourishing relationship.  

The Dads in Focus sessions also focused on child development and safety, parenting skills and Marcus’s own experiences growing up as a child, and explored the impacts of his behaviour on his ex-wife as both an individual and a mother. The Dads in Focus Program supported Marcus to shift from a place of resentment, frustration and anger (with no access to his son), to a place of empathy, compassion and understanding for his ex-wife.  

He was able to understand more about rebuilding trust and safety within the family unit and gained practical strategies to facilitate this. Through the DIF intervention Marcus had an opportunity to explore his own values, beliefs and attitudes that contributed to his use of family violence, the impacts of this on his ex-wife and his son and explore real life strategies to assist in reconnecting and building strong and healthy bonds with his son.